Richard’s Transformation Process
Richard Hastings ~ Virtues Transformation
| Negative Quality | Positive Quality Need Instead | Question to ask yourself |
| Fear (Goal oriented/looking for a solution in the future) – Meaning of fear – need to develop something new inside yourself that you haven’t had before, a new capacity is being called upon. – Fear is based on a similar experience that you have had in the past – always have to go back to that situation to work through it. – Have to sort for safety if abuse is still happening (you need the fear if the abuse is still happening). If it happened in childhood, you can move past the fear. – 3 general responses that come from the EGO:FlightFrightFreeze- All trying to get you safe/ survival mechanism.- Use them to get away from threat, and then they need to be undone and replaced with higher patterns of behavior that have more choice. | 1) Courage – Movement into the unknown.- Ability to go forward despite not having capacity (what the hell attitude).- Don’t think you have it but go for it anyways. 2) Enthusiasm – Need to step into a positive vision of the future and let the fear go. – Contents of the fear is the specific capacity you need to develop:1) If the person is afraid of criticism- need to develop encouragement in themselves and others.2) If you’ve been hit/abused, can have trouble taking care of yourself and others- need to develop self-care. | 1) Based on what my fear is, what new capacity is it calling on me to develop? What is one small step I can take (Courage)What excites me about the idea of not having this fear? (Enthusiasm) |
| Anxiety (Worry/ Overwhelmed) (Looking for a solution in the past) – Anxiety is a negative illusion that your mind creates about the future that isn’t real.- You create a negative picture of the future/ believe something bad is going to happen, and then start acting on it. Generalized Anxiety– Comes from family of origin or environment that didn’t support you or have your back (wasn’t bear enough for you).Overwhelmed– Mind creates the illusion and then makes it seem really big, may only have 2 tasks but mind makes it seem bigger. | 1) Confidence – With anxiety, you already have the ability to do what you need to do, but don’t have the confidence or feel empowered. 2) Empowerment– Use empowerment when you require more strength, like when you need to be a bear. – Look into the past for a memory of when you were good at it and then step into that memory and release the anxiety.- Key to change is to make whatever the thing you’re worried about smaller in your mind and you bigger like a bear or something big. | 1) If you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself, “How am I making this bigger in my mind?” and then make yourself bigger in your mind.2) Make a list and cross off the things you don’t need to do.3) Break down the tasks to make them more accomplishable. |
| Grief (Sadness/ Depression) (Not enough energy) – Makes your energy go out/down/depressed, takes energy away so you don’t feel like doing anything.- When something is over or has been lost and you’re still attached to the way it was or the way things were.- Sadness tells you it is over and that something new is about to appear. Depression – Almost always unprocessed grief or some loss they haven’t dealt with. | 1) Enthusiasm – Up energy to a vision of the future.2) Joy – Up energy toward the present.3) Gratitude – Up energy toward the past. – When you have grief, some new process is going to make itself known to you and you don’t have a clue what that is. – In order for that new process to come into play, you need to have all the ‘up energy’ qualities. | 1) What loss/thing in my life do I need to detach from or can’t let go of? 2) Need compassion because grief has its own clock, system needs its own time to get over. |
| Anger (Too much energy) – Hard to get internal guidance because the mind is burning up.- Fiery energy that burns its way thru. – People get angry because they don’t get what they want, they may have impure or materialistic motives. – When angry, they blame someone else, try to change the other person’s mind, convince someone of their own ideas. | 1) Tranquility 2) Calm3) Peacefulness Two steps:1) Have to let go of the anger towards the other person.2) Have to let go of the anger inside yourself. Solution:- Calm your mind to get into a tranquil space.- When you’re in a tranquil space most receptive to inner guidance, can’t get guidance when you are angry. | 1) Where am I losing my calm?2) How are the other person’s actions/behavior taking me out of my calm?3) What are my impure motives? |
| Frustration (Goal Correct) – Is paired with anger (fiery/too much energy) and is the opposite of disappointment.- You get this when you have a goal that is correct (the right goal), but the way you are trying to get there is incorrect.- Problem: is that you just think you are not trying hard enough or not doing enough and that you need to do more instead of changing what you are doing to reach your goal. | 1) Tranquility/Detachment – To find new guidance and correct the pattern of how to get to your goal. – Need to detach from how you are trying to get there.- When you feel frustrated, it tells you what you are doing wrong. | 1) What do I need to detach from in how I am getting to my goal?2) Find a space of tranquility to receive new inner guidance to correct the pattern of how to get to your goal. |
| Disappointment (Goal Incorrect) – Exact opposite of frustration (goal is incorrect but the process to get there is correct.- Paired with grief (energy goes out/down).- Didn’t get where you thought you should be, feel like you blew it or let yourself down.- Problem: your expectations are too high. | 1) Perseverance/ Determination– Keep doing what you are doing but change the goal/outcome. 2) Enthusiasm/ Joy – When you let go of old expectations, can return to your enthusiasm and joy (Up energy). | 1) What outcome/expectation do I need to let go of? |
| Guilt– Breaking someone else’s standard, feeling bad about it and then trying to make it up to their standard (parental, cultural, school, boss, etc) | 1) Detachment– Being able to have an independent mind- Need to strengthen your own thoughts/investigative powers | 1) Whose/What standard am I breaking?2) Is the standard valid?3) If someone is saying you should do something, they are trying to put their own guilt on you, change the “I should do this” to “I can do this”. |
| Shame– When yourself is under attack or was attacked and you become very dysfunctional.- May have been abused.- People want the why of what happened to them, but there usually is no why because the attackers were acting from their egos. | 1) Self Encouragement/ Self Recognition– Once you get the encouragement you can access all the other virtues.- Without the positive encouragement you think there is nothing good about yourself. | 1) The self can feel dead.2) There is no “why did the abuse etc happen?” that is the wrong question.3) This happened, it makes no sense why, need to let it go and then validate yourself. |
| Jealousy– Feeling you get when you are protecting something that you have and feel like it’s coming under threat of being lost.- Always trying to hold onto something (position of authority, power, control, priviledge, greed, love, relationship, etc).- In the process you can lose your mind and become irrational. | 1) Detachment – Need to let go of material component (Power, control, priviledge, greed, your hold on relationship/love). 2) Inclusion/ Unity– Needs to be replaced with higher levels of inclusion and unity. | Ask yourself:1) What is the threat?2) Is the threat real?- Jealousy tells you the threat is not real, whereas with fear the threat can be real.3) What hold do I need to detach from?4) How can I replace that hold with higher levels of inclusion and unity? |
| Envy– Wanting something that you don’t have (greed).- Desire to have something but not willing to do the work or learn the processes to get you there (taking short cuts- a lot of addictions are about envy).- People want money, title, recognition, love, new house, etc- desire takes over and the work to get something doesn’t match what the person actually wants. – Most often shows up in relationships. | 1) Purity of Motive2) Willingness to develop what you need to develop.– Have to go from getting something external to internal focus.- Move to having internal goal and let the outcome/ material need take care of itself. | |
| Hurt– Tells you you are holding onto pain that you no longer need to hold onto, usually pain someone else did to you. – Most kinesthetic, because you feel it really strongly. – If there are 2 people in the same situation 1 may feel hurt and the other one won’t. – There is always a self righteous element, usually you have an attachment to negative feelings that appear like anger toward people who hurt you, which blocks you from developing a new part of yourself. – This is the most common negative emotion, you face this the most along with fear and anxiety and then anger, then other ones intermittently. | 1) Forgiveness– As long as you are holding onto hurt you can’t develop in a new way.- Being offended actually weakens you. 2) Detachment– Need a lot of detachment mantras to move past it. – Always need to deal with hurt metaphorically (like what does it feel like? – being stabbed in the back, crushed etc) because that tells you how to deal with it.- It’s a metaphor that you feel that tells you what you need to develop:- Stabbed in the back: you feel angry and retaliate with negative stuff – means your life wants to go forward directly in a stronger way toward positive things.- Stabbed in the heart: need to open your heart and be more loving.- Run over or crushed: would be to uplift yourself. | Working with hurt:1) How did I allow myself to feel hurt? 2) What’s the metaphor?3) What am I attached to?4) What aspect/part of myself do I need to develop? |
| Embarrassment– Negative feeling you get when you feel exposed, usually through criticism/putdowns (doesn’t have to be but usually it is).- People who embarrass others want to feel higher/make themselves look bigger/better.- Causes you to hide and keep yourself hidden trying to protect yourself.- Closely related to shame (Shame is attack on self and embarrassment is being exposed).- When you are embarrassed it is difficult to go for your own vision because you have to hide yourself away.- What you are usually responding to is a negative voice that is critical or puts you down/laughs at you, you respond to the voice and then avoid every situation where that could happen again. – Embarrassment tells you you are responding to the negative stuff others are saying instead of your own positive qualities/voice. | 1) Upliftment– Finding the positive in yourself.2) Detachment – From what other people say about you.3) Truthfulness– In a positive way. – What you are trying to do is replace the external negative voice with an internal positive voice.- Internal positive exposes your positive self/positive qualities.- When you expose your positive qualities to yourself you’re able to have a vision and have enthusiasm to go toward it. | 1) What negative voice am I responding to?2) What positive voice can I hear instead? |
Four different types of energy, each has a specific purpose, we need all four of them but at any one time usually only need one.
1st Valley
(Vision)
– Positive Future &
Negative Past.
– Where am I going?
– Try to move to a positive future.
– Need to be more assertive (following authority of yourself).
– Energy you need to face unknowns.
Goal:
– Start new things and go for a vision.
Virtues:
1) Courage
2) Enthusiasm
3) Hope
4) Optimism
5) Any virtue that is related to moving toward the future.
Element – Air energy
Body – Spirit
Animal – Bird
Dream metaphor – anything in the air, going up, flying, (need up energy).
Challenge:
– How do you maintain yourself while you are creating something new? Have to see yourself as something really spiritual, beautiful & amazing.
– Have to face a lot of rejection and carry positive new energy despite what the world is.
– Need to confront the negative aspects of yourself (four birds of prey from Rumi).
2 major obstacles:
1) Blindly imitating the past, relying on the rules of the past.
– People devolve into the past because it is safe, then make the past seem really great “Make America Great Again”.
2) Fear of the unknown.
– When ever you go after a new virtue you are going to have to face fear- need courage.
Time:
– Start in the world of clock time where things are limited and move to the spiritual realm (which is the virtues) where time is unlimited.
Space:
– You’re the new kid on the block, doesn’t matter if they accept you, they will over time.
2nd Valley
(Inner Guidance/
Enlightenment)
– Get out of time completely because future & past are both negative.
– How do I solve the difficulties that come up on my path?
Goal:
– Find your guidance
– Go inward, detach from feeling and trust that the guidance will help the world get to where it needs to go.
Virtues:
1) Patience
2) Calmness/Tranquility
3) Purity of Motive
Element – Fire energy (light from the sun, not heat)
Body – Mind
Animal – Owl, Turtle (because need to stop time and slow down).
Dream Metaphor – On a path etc (How do I stay guided when I am on my path?)
Challenge:
– Trying to stop time and work on a single point.
– Have to come to a complete calm state so the guidance can come in.
– Need to keep a cool head and ultimate detachment to be able to see the truth that will come internally.
– Need a pure motive to get accurate results (like scientific experiment), if you have impure motive you can’t be guided, daily cleansing process to stay pure of heart.
– Not on your time, on God’s time.
– Sometimes it’s a cognitive process, other times it’s an intuitive process.
– If it’s cognitive, need to follow steps, work with a protocol and somewhere in the middle intuition will kick in and have to follow that (God’s chiming into the conversation).
– You don’t know when the intuition will kick in, so have to be ready for it, but also need to follow the sequential process.
Common negative dream:
– House on fire, can’t maintain cool, calm, tranquil to be guided
Positive dream:
– Start in darkness and see the light, being able to see the way, whatever lights up your path.
3rd Valley
(Love & Joy)
– Positive future & past.
Goal:
– Live fully all the time.
– Try to experience all the positive energy all the time connected to whatever you are doing – sport, art, music, work, etc.
Virtues:
1) Joy
2) Love
3) Compassion
Element: Water energy
Body: Heart
Animal: Dolphin, any animal that is joyful.
Dream Metaphor: water related, like tsunami, calm lake etc.
– Almost the opposite of the mind energy.
– Like being intoxicated in order to work properly.
Challenge:
– Have to be free from judgement (fighting in battle is same as beauties bower), doesn’t matter whatever you are doing- it is all beautiful.
– See the beauty in everything and don’t judge it.
– Don’t concern yourself with what is right or wrong when you do that you go into yourself and lose the experience.
– In relationships – men would be stuck in mind because of a fear of intimacy, and women get stuck in heart because fear of thinking for herself.
– Women sometimes uses body (heart energy) to get what she wants, men uses anger (mind energy) to get what they want .
4th Valley
(Toward the past)
(Determination)
– Positive past & negative future (If you can’t finish a goal tend to think you need to start something new, but need to keep doing what you are doing.)
– Need to be more authoritative (following the authority of what you have already developed).
Goal:
– Finishing not starting.
Virtues:
1) Strength
2) Empowerment
3) Obedience
4) Determination
5) Generosity (Bounties you get are not coming from you, they are coming from God).
Element: Earth energy
Body: Body/Strength
Animal: Earth animals – bear, wolf pack, elephant, bison, gorilla.
Dream Metaphor: Mountains, Grand Canyon, night sky.
Challenge:
– You are not developing something new, just what you already have.
– Future is the enemy.
– This is about looking back and remembering what you are good at.
– What you have to submit to is whatever it takes to get the job done.
– Whatever type of work you have to do to achieve that goal, you have to do.
– If you submit to what you are supposed to do and go for it, it will happen.
– Realize choice is an illusion, have to use your will but realize God’s will is so much better than your own. When you can do that you are so empowered.
– Need to understand that God has a destiny for you that is better than you could ever choose for yourself, if you submit to it, bounties of God’s will come to you that will allow you to achieve that destiny.
– If you do the hard work it is going to pay off in the end.
Space:
– You’re the boss of the block, you rule the block.
– By using this energy you end up becoming really competent & confident and can feel like you can do anything.
– When you get to the point in your career when you are feeling really confident/ competent, that’s when you get persecuted (leaders feel you are a threat/ hang you from the gallows).
– The suffering you go through, you need it because you need to understand the world and it makes the achievement that much greater/ sweeter.
– Once you get really confident/ competent, you will get thrown out and God says, ok, that’s enough and expand what you are doing and move you to something new to be able to develop new stuff.
How Positive and Negative Energy Works Inside of You
Warm-up / listening
Introduction of the Transformation Dynamic
Ego – attachment to the earth- time/space bound- flight/fight/freeze
True Self- attachment to God/Holy Spirit/Spiritual Dimension- eternal timeless/placeless- choice
Connecting to Positive Energy in Yourself/Others-
a. How things are represented in the mind. Visual Auditory Kinesthetic OlfactoryExercise #1 Connecting to the Positive energy in others.
Partner Exercise
Facilitator-Participant –
Facilitators Questions- repeat the answers to the participant so that she knows you have it.
1.Find a virtue that already exists in you such as love, enthusiasm, joy, strength, honesty.
Relax and breathe and then begin to experience what the virtue is like inside of you. Take your time.
When you experience the virtue, does it have a visual aspect to it? Describe the visual aspect.
Does it have sound? What is the sound like?
Does it have a kinesthetic/olfactory aspect to it?
If the positive energy could turn into a metaphor, what would it be for you?
Experience the virtue together – by adding each component
Switch Roles- Repeat exercise
Depending on time- choose another partner
Disconnecting from the Ego
The goal with the ego is become detached from it, whereas with the True Self the goal is to connect with the energy. You are tryng to remove negative energy. Important to know how it is working.
Exercise #2 Finding the Structure of the Ego
Facilitator/Participant
Facilitator Questions
Name a Negative Emotion you experience
How do you experience the negative emotion?
What are you seeing?
What are you hearing?Is there a kinesthetiic/olfactory component? What is it?Where does the negative emotion exist in your body?If the negative emotion were a metaphor, what would it be?Discussion about Solutions- Being solution Oriented- General principle Opposites
Exercise in Awareness of Stresses
Richard Hastings is an expert in change work and dream work and author of Dreams for Peace. He is a 
Dreams For Peace 