Secret #1:   Everyone of us has darkness, that is, we all have weaknesses and fears and vulnerabilities that make us do things that are not so positive.   You cannot expect perfection from others, because it does not exist.  As obvious as this is most of us get angry at others when they act badly.   You have to get over it because everyone does it, including yourself.    Getting angry and yelling at someone for acting badly is about as effective as drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.

Secret #2:  While you cannot blame or get mad at someone’s darkness,  it is equally ineffective to underestimate it or try to be nice with it.   Nice does not work.  The first step is to understand the darkness and see what it does negatively to hurt others.    It is much better to error on the side of seeing it darker than it actually is, than to pretend like it is not such a big thing.   If you are in a relationship with someone who gets jealous, you better understand how their jealousy works and how it is going to effect the relationship.  When you are nice around it, it becomes more venomous.   (Once again, just because you are not nice, does not mean you have to be angry).   A lot of people get stuck in those two options.

Secret #3:  At the core of everyone’s darkness is a profound sense of being alone and isolated.  The goal of a relationship with darkness is not to be angry, but to find a way of getting to a connection with the person in their positive energy.   Their darkness is what gets in the way of having a connection so being nice just lets the darkness know that it can continue being dark.   Start with the curiosity in your mind about where they are feeling alone in their life.   The energy that they give off from being alone will lead the way to how to have a positive relationship with them.

Secret #4:  The culture teaches us to underestimate the size of the ego inside of us. It is always much bigger than you think it is.     When you have a fear that is not addressed, it will grow until it takes over your whole being.   You should have a very healthy respect for the state of your ego.  In spiritual terms this is known as the fear of God.   It means that if you don’t deal with your growth issues they will bite you in the butt, only much worse.   In a world where domination exists like in a male dominated world the men like it when women are nice.  This means that they can continue to be dominant.  They don’t like it when women address their fears because then they start becoming more equal in their minds, it makes it harder for men to be dominant.   The dominant race also does not want to lose its dominance. It abhors equality because it loses its advantage.   Notwithstanding how hideous it is,  getting angry at dominance does not work.   Anger lets the dominant ones see the anger as out of control and allows them to blame the angry person.    A white person who is trying to dominate another race is profoundly alone.

Secret #5  The positive spiritual energy that solves the darkness is infinite in its evolution, but what most people do not have is the virtue of assertiveness.  Assertiveness is the quality that allows you to say no to the darkness, to seek the proper protection, and to go for having an equal position.   It does not have anger mixed in with it even though it is very strong.   When you add wisdom and patience in with assertiveness, the darkness really begins to move.