Anger is one of the less understood virtues, especially in places like America where the culture is run on how fast you can get to a goal or get something done or delivered. It is even worse in cultures like the Middle East where men think they own their families and have the innate right to do as they please. It is amazing when I cross over the border into the U.S. how many times people will apologize at a store or a restaurant if I have to stand in a line or wait for a coffee more than a “minute”.

Anger is an ego-driven negative emotion that some executives or people who are trying to maintain domineering relationships believe is a virtue. When an executive uses aggressive anger, it actually shows their absolute incompetence because they are just resorting to a tactic that subordinates give into because of the fear of being fired. If they do not have the big stick of being able to fire people, then anger is just a big bag of wind that does nothing. That people anger so easily is demonstration of understanding and valuing virtues like peacefulness or patience.

Anger= the Lack of Patience

What is patience? Patience is the virtue that allows you to take time out of the equation of what you are trying to achieve. When time is a big factor, too big of a factor, then anger is always present and so is the lack of patience. What people do not realize, which is the purpose of this post, is that patience is so magical. When you practice it, the thing that you were fretting about comes to you so easily. I do not know why it is undervalued in psyschological literature or self-help books. It is just never one of the 5 or 6 things to success in success-driven books. It is absent. Maybe that is why I stopped reading all of those numbered formula driven books. They always leave out patience.

Patience allows you to escape time. When you have it, time disappears. Some animals have it by nature. A green viper will sit on the same branch of a tree or bush for a week at a time waiting for its prey to cross its path. The signalling emotion that lets you know that you do not have enough patience is anger. Anger increases blood flow so that you will act more quickly in an aggressive manner, but even though at times it gets temporarily good results, long term it destroys relationships and the quality of what is being produced.

It is hard to imagine a culture or situation where time is not a part of the equation because our physical beings live in a time and space-filled world. The quickest way to develop patience is to think of spaces in your life where time seems to fade or does not even exist for you. I know a lot of gardeners who go out to the garden to take a look at how things are doing in the morning and then find themselves back in the house an hour or so later. They lose time in the wonder of the garden. Time ceases to be a big factor.

When you lose your patience with someone because they are blocking you from getting to what you want to do or where you are headed, anger is not going to get you to the inner experience that you are truly looking for. Anger takes you away from the inner experience. It is like you want to see the beauty of nature along a scenic path, but anger drives you over the cliff. You end up an infinite distance away from the wonder. Patience allows you to feel the texture of your brush strokes, the sweet vibrations of the chords, the beautiful fragrance of the flowers. It allows you to drink in life fully. In terms of positive abilities and being able to get to your goals and objectives in life, you have to think of patience as one of the top 5. It will work when every other virtue fails.

Why do we value courage, assertiveness, love, kindness, even mindfulness, and determination, not mention generosity and gratitude, but patience is nowhere to be found? I guess corporate leaders have not made the connection between patience and profit yet.

The Baha’i Writings calls patience under the trials of life a sign of love. Isn’t that interesting that patience is associated closely with love.

If you get that anger is the indicator that you need patience, and patience allows you to be in the garden a lot longer, maybe its time we all think about it more. What if you were patient when someone cuts you off in traffic? What if you were patient when the lines are long? It seems like it is a door opener to much more love and joy.

Try it. See how much more comes to you when you practice patience.