If you are like me, you have probably read dozens of books and gone to lots of seminars and workshops on the theme of making a plan for your life. In this post I am going to propose to you a new way of thinking about planning. I am not advocating throwing out everything about the ways you may have already learned. There is probably a lot of value in it. Recently I was asked to give a short speech at one of our best friend’s celebration of life ceremony. It just so happened that this friend had been co-editing a book that my daughter, who passed away in 2022, had written. So at the end of the speech I decided to quote from her book. This is what she wrote.

“When you have time to plan out your life, you will notice that you are not really on your own. Your life is not yours, it is only a part, you belong to the world, to the trees, to the stars. They protect you and guide you, they fill you up with life. So listen to them, ask them, let them fill you up with love. They will protect you and guide you and fill you up with life and with love and with endless comfort and wisdom. Bow down and be humble and find your sweet voice, be patient, be prepared, and come up with a plan. It is one with all nature, with the world and beyond. Just ask and be guided to find your new plan. 

Find it in your heart to believe that you are good enough, strong enough, tall enough and confident enough to live the life of your dreams. If you find yourself on a path that is not quite your own, your shoes are too big or your feet overgrown, then still yourself, sit and find peace on the ground. Ask the earth for protection, accompaniment and love. Be at peace and find joy, let it rain down your spine.” Erika Hastings-Adlparvar

The challenge that Erika presents to us is a kind of radical shift in the way we think about how we exist in the world. Most planning models start from the position of being alone in the world. It is each of us alone trying to figure out where we are headed. This model, Erika’s, starts from the a position of connection, to see that we are all interconnected and connected to all life, that everything is a giant web.

Step 1. To What and to Whom do you feel connected in a positive way. Make a web with your name in the middle. Start with things that you feel most connected to in nature such as flowers, lagoons, birds, and other animals. Your list can go on endlessly, but have around 5 at the beginning.

Next ask each one what it gives to you in your life. How are you connected to each one? If they could speak, what might they say?

1. Woodpeckers: Keep pecking away at your issues. Make lots of small progress. Don’t try to make too big of change too fast.
2. Owls: Remember your stealth when you hunt for the darkness in others. Be invisible when helping others to make changes.
3. Sequoias: Be strong, rooted, and make others realize that you are not going away. You are in it for the long haul, not the short haul.
4. Beach: Hearing the ocean rolling in: You get the best results in your work when you are calm and tranquil. Relax and use your calm.
5. Long Paths in the Forest: The wonder of the world and people in it is endless. Stay in your wonderment.

Notice how the feeling of being alone starts to dissipate when you are connected to nature.

Step 2: If you could have the energy of the spirit of these things in nature with you all the time, name three things in your life where you would put more focus. You do not have to put things that are going very well for you right now. It is coming in Step 3.

e.g. 1. Writing Everyday. 2. Creating stronger connections with people around me. 3. Create more transformation groups.

Step 3: Add the things that you do regularly that are really already working for you. These are the things that you want to keep going. e.g. exercise, relating to family members, work with individuals to help them make changes.

Step 4: Make a plan for however long you can, a half day, one full day, one week, one month, 3 months, 6 months, one year, or 5 years. You do not have to begin with huge specific targets. In the beginning you need to know that you are connected. When you are connected, things gradually get revealed to you. Goals become more specified. When you are alone and disconnected from nature, the goals go in a more selfish and destructive direction.

Step 5: Trust in Nature to keep communicating with you.