Relationship Dreams: Breaking the Old Paradigm
I receive a lot of dreams from young people, often in high school, who are wondering about how to move forward in the area of relationships. For some reason we have created a worldwide system of education that requires endless hours of math and science,but almost nothing in relationships. I am not against math and science. I adore math and numbers, but where are the curricula in our schools that address how to have a successful relationship?
One of a number of types of dreams that young people have is when they are currently in a dating-type relationship with one person, but getting physically intimate with someone completely different in a dream. To understand how to respond to a young person or, for that matter, a married person having the dream, you first need to fully understand that the culture we live in worldwide is based upon the principle of exclusion. More than anything, our culture is a race to the top which can only have one winner. Everyone else loses and is excluded along the way. Dating is a reflection of the exclusive culture, and young people race to get to the number one person. The number one position in the dating race is to have a really great exclusive boy friend or girl friend. This is the pressure and most people unconsciously participate.
The dream world is not part of the material culture. It works on spiritual laws that are completely outside of man made exclusion schemes. So in the dream world it is perfectly ok to have two boy friends. So why does a young person need more than one? Why is exclusion such a bad paradigm? Relationships, when they are actually about the relating rather than the conquest, are the perfect environments for exploring various parts of your character. Everyone is unique. The more people you know and are close to, the more you can learn about your own self. If you dream about getting close to someone who is not your exclusive partner, it means that there is a part of yourself that you need to explore and develop. The best way to develop it is through relating positively to the person in the dream. Relating is learning.
The problem with just changing over to a new system of dating and relating is the person at the top. If you are on top because you have this great girl friend, you are not going to want to be exploring and learning. You are going to want to be keeping your advantage over others. People at the top in our exclusive world don’t want to share their spot even if they are miserable and jealous in it. The key in dealing with people who are stuck in the paradigm of exclusion with huge ambition for making it to the top is to become detached from them. They are really not that important in the long run even though they think they are now.