Detachment Day 2: Anger to Wildness
Yesterday was an extremely trying day for me in the development of detachment. I mean here I was going along fine and making great progress in my mind with the virtue. I actually could begin to see myself doing stuff. And then I went to this horrible meeting where it was all about a couple of people’s egos. It was the same old, same old, where some people know how to talk in front of a group and say the right words, but behind the scenes, you know that they will never deliver, where the words hugely exceed the deeds.
With the virtue of detachment I was hoping that I could just let this kind of thing role off of me, but I found myself being furious inside, trying to keep quiet, and waiting for the meeting to be over so I could get out of there. I went home, my insides in knots, and just watched TV to try to relieve the situation. I was definitely not letting the water fall off the duck’s back. It was more like drinking in the poison.
So then last night in my dreams I was with all of my children and my son-in-laws and my 5 grandchildren. When I woke up, I thought to myself, “Why was my family in my dream and not something about the bad meeting that I had been to?” Well, I knew that when I was in the meeting that it was going to test the virtue of detachment. As the Baha’i Writings say, “How can you say you believe and not be tested?” So here I am with my grandchildren, but I am stuck in that awful meeting packed with lies and promises that have no intention of being fulfilled. There are man’s ways and then there are God’s ways, and God’s are much better.
So then I am realizing now that my grandchildren need me to be detached so that I can be wild and crazy playful with them. They don’t care about my silly meeting with promises that can’t be kept. They only care about playing and going out and having adventures.
So here is my NLP process. I am stuck with anger, a kinesthetic feeling that feels like having a huge rock in my guts that has the effect of keeping me down and keeping me from doing what I really want to do. Where I want to go is to see myself out there with lots of energy being wild and crazy and adventurous.
At the origin where the anger is, I am stuck because of the injustice and the lying and having no recourse to justice. Where I am going is a place where adventure happens all the time. So my questions to myself are, “How long do I really want to be angry?” “When am I going to let go of the anger so that I can go for the adventure?” It seems to me that God knew what it would take by throwing my grandchildren into my dream.
I guess it is time to let go of the stone in guts. See you in adventureland.