Encouraging Yourself 4: Clearing your Past
You probably won’t get much out of this post unless you read the the three previous ones. Take your time to go back and study them.
Encouragement as a process is largely centered in the ability to remember positives in the past and hold them in memory for a long time. Having clear access to positive memories puts your being into a highly up-state for doing what you want to do in the present and for making plans in the future. Not having access to positive memories means that something else is there in your memory in its place that is negative.
The largest blocker of positive memories by far is a history of criticism, of being put down, yelled at, minimized. When your being wants to go forward into a positive future and have access to the up-states that positive memories give, if you have a significant history of unprocessed criticism, the mind will not allow full access to positive memories. You will remember negatives and the critical voices. Then instead of being free to act, your behavior will be very conservative. You won’t get where you want to go.
Encouragement is triggered by a positive voice that gives access to positive memories and a push toward the positive future.
How do develop a positive encouraging voice
Review the steps given in Encouragement 3 and keep practicing.
Make a list of the 10 most critical people that have affected you in your life. Then systematically go through each one using the exercise from the previous post. What you will find over time is that the positive voices normally start with another person’s voice and then gradually transition to your own. The worse the history of criticism, the harder it is to develop the positive voice.
Remember to give your new voice some positive goals.