Tag: encouragement

The Magic of 5 to 1

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/use-the-magic-5-1-ratio-to-improve-all-your-relationships?utm_source=pocket-newtab I have quoted this research in almost every talk I have ever given. It is extremely powerful. Have a read.

The Power of Encouragement and Why People Tend to Use Criticism

My mother’s house was always immaculate. She made sure that every public space was spotless. There were almost no weeds in her yard. Her parties were a show of excellence in food preparation. It was not an easy house to live in because messes were largely not permitted. In order to keep her standard so …

Encouraging Yourself 4: Clearing your Past

You probably won’t get much out of this post unless you read the the three previous ones. Take your time to go back and study them. Encouragement as a process is largely centered in the ability to remember positives in the past and hold them in memory for a long time. Having clear access to …

Encouragement Part 3 Changing Criticism the Comes from Hurt and Embarrassment

Despite the fact that parents and administrators and well, just about all us, rely heavily on criticism as the main tool in trying to get other to change, the research has consistently shown that it is completely ineffectively. About one in ten people can use criticism constructively. What happens to the rest, to the 80-90% …

Encouraging Yourself: Part 2 Culture

The biggest difficulty we all have in dealing with the way our culture brings us down is that we essentially learn our culture the same we learn how to breathe. We learn our culture unconsciously which means that much of what we do comes without ever having made any conscious choices. There are positive aspects …

Encouraging Yourself: Part 1

One of the main processes we need in our minds if we want to achieve our life’s goals is encouragement. Many of us go searching for encouragement outside of ourselves, but it only ever gives us a temporary lift. The permanent source of encouragement is within one’s self. It is almost exclusively initiated with a …

Dream About Praising Each Other

I had a dream last night that I thought was significant about my dad. Among some other things happening he wrote this very elegant letter to our high school football coach praising him for all of the positive things he had done for Ron and me. It was surprising to me because, in this life, …

Why so many People Believe in Conspiracy Theories and Not in the Facts

If you are like me, you may be scratching your head at why so many people in the world seem to be able to completely ignore facts and data based upon research, but readily believe conspiracy theories or cling to old worn out practices. I first came upon this phenomenon when I attended the U.S. …

My Recurring Dream of the Air Force Academy and Why People Think the Current President is Correct

This is where I spent the first three years of my university education.  It is called the Air Force Academy.  Its purpose is to train young men and women to become officers in the U.S. Air Force.   When I was a young person and they started recruiting me because I was a good student and …

How to Deal with Criticism: Changing What’s In Your Head

Today I woke wondering why I have this mental habit of trying to get everything done all at once or in a very short time period.   It is as if my mind refuses to live in a sequential, time-based, rhythmic world.   I have trouble doing sequences-based tasks like following recipes or sticking to an …

Building a Culture of Encouragement in the World

Note:  I wrote this piece about 10 years ago, but it is obviously more relevant than ever. Everyone in the world no matter which culture or remote island you are from suffers from the lack of living in a culture of encouragement.  We have all grown up in cultures where criticism is the rule, that …

When You Deal With Criticism, Listen to the Voices in Your Head

Have you ever noticed that when you watch a very frightening movie, all you have to do is turn off the volume and then the fear goes away.  The movie makers seem to control your state of fear through the way they manipulate sound more than anything else.   Sometimes the scary movies seem a little …

Return to Encouragement: The Most Powerful Tool in the Arsenal

When I first started learning about the power of encouragement, I was living in the Prairies in Alberta, Canada.  It became such a powerful tool for me when I had the self discipline to see and acknowledge the positive in others and also ignore the negatives.    Later I worked on developing the tool in a …

Seeing the Positive, Ignoring the Negative, Except with Abuse

The following dream is also on the free dream interpretation page of the blog.   I am sharing it to show the principle of being really positive. Last night, I had a dream about a girl I really like at the moment. She was covered in icing-like makeup, blue and silver, as well as things similar …

The Critical and Encouraging Voices in Your Head

It would be so great if the voices in our head were encouraging ones like a crowd in a stadium cheering for you or a friend reminding you of all of your positive virtues.    The reality for almost everyone, however, is that that critical voices in our heads are the dominant ones.   They can be …

Achieving the Impossible: Create an Encouraging Voice Inside of You

When you were getting rid of the tyrant inside of you based on the exercise in the previous post, you probably noticed how loud and critical the tyrant sounds.   A tyrannical voice is controlled by volume and so is criticism. What I found after having my Nazi dreams, was that when the tyrant was present, …