The Power of Encouragement and Why People Tend to Use Criticism

My mother’s house was always immaculate. She made sure that every public space was spotless. There were almost no weeds in her yard. Her parties were a show of excellence in food preparation. It was not an easy house to live in because messes were largely not permitted. In order to keep her standard so …

Encouraging Yourself 4: Clearing your Past

You probably won’t get much out of this post unless you read the the three previous ones. Take your time to go back and study them. Encouragement as a process is largely centered in the ability to remember positives in the past and hold them in memory for a long time. Having clear access to …

Encouragement Part 3 Changing Criticism the Comes from Hurt and Embarrassment

Despite the fact that parents and administrators and well, just about all us, rely heavily on criticism as the main tool in trying to get other to change, the research has consistently shown that it is completely ineffectively. About one in ten people can use criticism constructively. What happens to the rest, to the 80-90% …

Encouraging Yourself: Part 2 Culture

The biggest difficulty we all have in dealing with the way our culture brings us down is that we essentially learn our culture the same we learn how to breathe. We learn our culture unconsciously which means that much of what we do comes without ever having made any conscious choices. There are positive aspects …

Encouraging Yourself: Part 1

One of the main processes we need in our minds if we want to achieve our life’s goals is encouragement. Many of us go searching for encouragement outside of ourselves, but it only ever gives us a temporary lift. The permanent source of encouragement is within one’s self. It is almost exclusively initiated with a …

Stranded on a Ski Chair Doing Our Work

It is 1C. The three of us, Diego (grandson), Erika(daughter) and myself are suspended above the snow sitting on the Raven’s Ridge chair. Instead of moving forward, as you would expect, the chair comes to a halt. Under normal circumstances it usually restarts after a short wait. Now 5 minutes go by and still we …

Daily Change: Chapter 1 What Are You Paying Attention to?

Chapter 1 What are you paying attention to? One must see in every human being only that which is worthy of praise. When this is done, one can be a friend to the whole human race. If, however, we look at people from the standpoint of their faults, then being a friend to them is …

How to Get to Results that are Better than you Imagined.

There I am looking down the barrel of a gun.  I am about to be killed.  I start to beg for my life and try to get away.    The person with the gun laughs at me in my humiliated state and let’s me go. This dream is followed by a series of other ones where …

Dealing with Worry Part 2: How to Not Allow Worry to Take You Over the Edge to the Dark Side

In part one of dealing with worry I was trying to show that when you are confident with your internal gifts and act out of them, then positive things begin to show up all around.   What happens when worry gets the better of you?   Human beings have two aspects to themselves, an ego, which is …

How to Deal with Criticism: Changing What’s In Your Head

Today I woke wondering why I have this mental habit of trying to get everything done all at once or in a very short time period.   It is as if my mind refuses to live in a sequential, time-based, rhythmic world.   I have trouble doing sequences-based tasks like following recipes or sticking to an …

Being Enthusiastic in a Know-It-All World

Enthusiasm is the capacity to feel up about going for a positive end in the future.    It is the energy that keeps you going despite setbacks and challenges.    It is difficult to imagine any enterprise succeeding without a great deal of enthusiasm. One of the great thieves of enthusiasm is know-it-all energy.  Know-it-all energy is …

Building a Culture of Encouragement in the World

Note:  I wrote this piece about 10 years ago, but it is obviously more relevant than ever. Everyone in the world no matter which culture or remote island you are from suffers from the lack of living in a culture of encouragement.  We have all grown up in cultures where criticism is the rule, that …

When You Deal With Criticism, Listen to the Voices in Your Head

Have you ever noticed that when you watch a very frightening movie, all you have to do is turn off the volume and then the fear goes away.  The movie makers seem to control your state of fear through the way they manipulate sound more than anything else.   Sometimes the scary movies seem a little …

Return to Encouragement: The Most Powerful Tool in the Arsenal

When I first started learning about the power of encouragement, I was living in the Prairies in Alberta, Canada.  It became such a powerful tool for me when I had the self discipline to see and acknowledge the positive in others and also ignore the negatives.    Later I worked on developing the tool in a …

Seeing the Positive, Ignoring the Negative, Except with Abuse

The following dream is also on the free dream interpretation page of the blog.   I am sharing it to show the principle of being really positive. Last night, I had a dream about a girl I really like at the moment. She was covered in icing-like makeup, blue and silver, as well as things similar …

Inherited, Acquired, and Innate Qualities

One of the big questions people have, when they are embarking on a new change process, is how to find where the problems originated and then how to let go of them so that the new energy can function fully.   The first question I ask others or myself is what the biggest issue is that …

Letting go of Perfectionism: See the Future as Positive

The other day when I was doing on workshop on the dreaming process, I was approached by an architect who had had a dream in which he saw how to build a magnificent temple based upon the design of a particular type of leaf in nature.    He was truly inspired and uplifted when he shared …

Bear Dreams: Getting to Your Empowerment

I dreamed I was in a house which was being invaded by bears the size of Sasquatch. Someone told me to not worry they know what they are doing, and they had some sort of trick to get them out, but it seemed to me the bears were going to attack. I felt so small. …

Finally Getting Out of Blame and Into Responsibility

The big difficulty with getting out of blame and taking responsibility for moving your life forward is that there are a lot of people out there that are truly worthy of an immense amount of blame.   When you have been a victim of injustice, the condition that most of the world lives in,  then it …

Dream Work 7: Living Life As If It Were Already the Future Your True Self Wants

“Let each morn be better than its eve and each morrow richer than its yesterday.” Baha’u’llah The question of inner work is always singular.  How do I get out of the stuck state that I am currently in?  There is large body of literature and work about the importance of being present in yourself,  but …

Dream Work 5: Making Your Enemies into Friends

“Let them at all times concern themselves with doing a kindly thing for one of their fellows, offering to someone love, consideration, thoughtful help. Let them see no one as their enemy, or as wishing them ill, but think of all humankind as their friends; regarding the alien as an intimate, the stranger as a …

The Horror of Boston

In the 1970s when I first began to run consistently on the roads of the Midwest in America,  the Boston Marathon was the Eden of the running world.   In those days 1000 people in a race was a huge number.    Today the unthinkable happened.   I have been emotional all day often with tears when I …

Dreamwork 3: When Your Metaphor Hits Resistance

Today I received this dream after the post from yesterday. This morning I had a dream I as swimming along a beach trying to get to a distant goal along the beach. About 100 yards out from the beach was a huge wall. I was trying to swim towards the shore, but I got pushed …

Day 19: Why the Future World is So Unrecognizable to Us

O Thou our Provider! Send down Thine aid, that each one gathered here may become a lighted candle, each one a centre of attraction, each one a summoner to Thy heavenly realms, till at last we make this nether world the mirror image of Thy Paradise.        Abdu’l Baha The future world is very difficult for …

Day 18: Out of Contentious Relationships and Into Intimacy and Play

Observe, how thou art asleep in a dwelling, and its doors are barred; on a sudden thou findest thyself in a far-off city, which thou enterest without moving thy feet or wearying thy body; without using thine eyes, thou seest; without taxing thine ears, thou hearest; without a tongue, thou speakest. And perchance when ten …

Day 16: Returning to the Vision of Your Life with the New Virtue

The Great Being saith: Regard man as a mine rich in gems of inestimable value. Education can, alone, cause it to reveal its treasures, and enable mankind to benefit therefrom…. Baha’u’llah Last night I had a very interesting dream in which I was in the next world (according to the dream).  It wasn’t like I …

Day 14: The Best Asset is a Positive Memory

Thus is it incumbent upon us, when we direct our gaze toward other people, to see where they excel, not where they fail.  Abdu’l Baha You have just come out of a really bad meeting with your supervisor who has managed to tell you what an awful job you are doing at work.   It is …

Day 13: Day of Reflection/Meditation

The light of a good character surpasseth the light of the sun and the radiance thereof. Whoso attaineth unto it is accounted as a jewel among men.  Baha’u’llah After having done a day of maximum effort, it is often very valuable to do a day where the focus is reflection.    In today’s material world especially …

Day 12: Challenging Yourself for a Day

Make thou an effort that thou mayest take thy place under the sun and receive an abundant share of its dazzling light.     (Abdu’l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha, p. 56) The reality of any kind of transformation plan is that it requires a great deal of effort.   You cannot become fit by sitting …

Day 11: Communicating With Your Future Self

“Honesty, virtue, wisdom and a saintly character redound to the exaltation of man, while dishonesty, imposture, ignorance and hypocrisy lead to his abasement. By My life! Man’s distinction lieth not in ornaments or wealth, but rather in virtuous behaviour and true understanding.”  Baha’u’llah One of the important aspects of transformation work is the ability to …