The Grief Code: Doorway to Endurance
Before I explain grief, which is a very challenging negative emotion, I am going to do a quick review list of the negative codes we have already covered.
Disappointment: Attachment to the wrong expectations that brings energy down and makes you think you have to change everything. Code: Let go of expectations, remember and do more of the positive processes that are already working.
Frustration: Attachment to the wrong processes or ways of doing things. You keep doing the same things only maybe more intensely that give you the same bad results. Code: The goal or expectation is correct, but the processes are not. Change the way you are doing things, while holding onto the goal.
Anger: Attachment to something or someone outside of yourself being to blame for what is happening. Literally the loss of a cool mind. Code: Let go of blaming, go into a peaceful, tranquil, detached, patient state so that you can get guidance to move forward.
Anxiety: Attachment to the negative imagination that your mind makes up to keep you from moving forward. Overwhelm is the blowing up in the mind of negative non-realities. Origin is abandonment. Code: Let go of negative imagining, recognize it came from being all alone, then have the confidence to act with abilities that you already have.
Fear: Attachment to a negative outcome because of a memory/memories of negative experiences that makes it difficult to go for new things or a positive future. Code: Let go of negative experience, then have courage to dive into new things and develop new abilities.
Grief is the experience you have when something comes to an end that you didn’t desire such as the loss of job or a friend or the death of person close to you. Disappointment, frustration, and anger are emotions that signal that you are still in a situation and need to keep going. Grief and sadness come when something is over. The big difficulty with grief is that the loss takes down your energy putting you in a depressed action state. It is very difficult to move forward or get back on your feet when grief strikes because there is no energy. You get stuck in down feelings.
Before we talk about the attachments with grief, everyone should know that it is nearly impossible to not feel down when you experience loss especially with losing people that are close to you. Time is often your best friend with grief so that you can accustom yourself to your new life without the person or the job.
There are two types of attachments that occur when you experience grief. There is first of all the attachment to the memory of the loss. The mind gets stuck remembering the person or job being with you and how it went away. For instance, if you lose a family member or close friend, you remember the loss, the person going away, and then you get very stuck in staying down. The second type of attachment with grief is the false imagined hope that someone or something new is going to take you out of the negative state so that you can feel up again. In both cases you have to go through a process of letting go of the attachments. The challenging part is that grief keeps your energy very low so you often feel you cannot move the energy.
It is hard to imagine when you have lost a loved one or a job or an important contract or game that life is going to ever get back to some semblance of an up state. You can give yourself plenty of time to do it. When you are able to realize that letting go is the first step, and then begin to let go of the attachment, the actual code is to remember your positive abilities and be able to use them endlessly. Endurance, which is the ability to stay positive for a long time while doing positive capabilities, is what grief is asking out of you.
Grief tells you to play the long game, not the short one. It is difficult to have a lot of gratitude for what you have already developed inside of you when you are down and attached, but being grateful for your gifts and preparing yourself for doing things for a long time takes you instantly out of grief and depressed action. It does this because it lets you know that you didn’t have to achieve results in a super accelerated manner. You can keep using your abilities and then keep using them some more. The results will accumulate over time.
It is not as easy as I stated because there are a lot of feelings to work through. When I was fired from particular jobs that I had and then lost all of the programs that I had helped to build, I didn’t want to go somewhere new and start again. It is because I didn’t have the long vision. I didn’t see that what that the positive I had done was never lost. It still exists today in the minds and hearts of all of the students I worked with.
The next stage after the loss is a continuation of the same, but it is hard to see it at the time. Whatever has given you success, will continue to give you success. That is the message, the code, of grief. Stay in the game and keep playing it. The attachments will want to make you give up especially if the loss comes from betrayal or sudden deaths.
Grief does not require you to develop something new in you. It asks you to remember the positives developed in the past and keep doing them forever. Fear is the emotion that requires new development, not grief. It is easy to throw in the towel after a great loss and try something new or give up completely. The code is to back to what works and keep doing it endlessly. When we lost our daughter a couple of years ago, one of the things that helped a huge amount in the grieving process was to take long hikes in the forest. It was like i could practice being in something for a long time, but it took me more than a year before I could start running again consistently. It was like the grief knocked all of the endurance out of me, and then I had to learn how to stay in things for a long time.
Endurance is the quality that lets you know that things will be lasting for a long time if you can remember the positive processes.
Richard Hastings is an expert in change work and dream work and author of Dreams for Peace. He is a 
Dreams For Peace 
Thanks so much for the clarification Richard.
I really appreciate you sharing your personal experience around grief. It helps inspire others to find the endurance within to keep going in the right direction rather than giving in to the downward pull of energy.
A big take away for me is the ability to have a longer vision.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom,
Angela