Seeing the Positive, Ignoring the Negative, Except with Abuse
The following dream is also on the free dream interpretation page of the blog. I am sharing it to show the principle of being really positive.
Last night, I had a dream about a girl I really like at the moment. She was covered in icing-like makeup, blue and silver, as well as things similar to hundreds and thousands, only larger, in blue and white. She was sitting down, and I picked her up in princess style and started kissing her. Her mouth became smaller, but this didn’t seem to be that important. In all, I still found her beautiful no matter how ugly she would have looked in real life, and really enjoyed the kiss. This dream is really strange, and I cannot find any parallels to help interpret it.
There are two approaches to behavior based upon the dream above. You could be like the dreamer and regard the girl as beautiful while ignoring what might be seem as ugly to some or you could see the distasteful parts, accentuate them, and move away from the other person. What the dreamer does in this dream is perfect. He puts aside anything negative, sees only the beauty, makes it more enhanced, and then embraces the loved one. We each have the choice. For the most part the world chooses the second approach because seeing the parts that are not so beautiful and staying away from others or criticizing them allows us to protect ourselves from any possible rejection or hurt.
When you see a positive in another person, make the image more enhanced, and acknowledge it to the person, the benefit goes to both you and the other person. The person feels encouraged because someone has seen their true self, and you have a chance to get closer to another person which is also beneficial. When the positives are acknowledged and the weaknesses are ignored, closeness happens and then outstanding results follow. When we focus on the negative aspects of others, we naturally want to stay away from them. It makes relating laborious.
There is one exception and that is abuse. Abuse happens when someone else uses their power against others in a very negative manner. The motive of abuse is power. The following dream illustrates the point.
Then I am in a truck sitting between the driver and the abusive person. She gives me the look and then I am joking with her, “Aw, come on?!,” I say, “Really?….That again?” and she’s stuck in her way and I even sort of punch her to try to shake her out of her “zone” when it doesn’t work I get the idea that I’d like to kick her out of the car then and see if she gets a wake up call out of that…but I don’t do it!
The principle of dealing with abusive people is detachment and staying away from them. In this case the abuser is sitting next to the dreamer which is entirely the wrong place. The difference between an abusive person and other people who exhibit weaknesses like most people is that the abusive person only has in mind the goal of using her power to gain an advantage and a drug-like state of temporary euphoria from the use of power. The dreamer is trying to ignore the abuser’s state and be positive to try to get the truck cab into a positive and uplifting environment, but the abuser has no intention of changing. And that is the key with abusers. They have no intention of changing. The dreamer had the right thought in the dream world which was to kick her out of the cab. In real life it would be inappropriate because it would be like committing murder. However, it is perfectly fine in the dream world where there the physical laws do not exist. When you keep abusive people in your life, they cause no end to trouble and that is their intention. When you use detachment, you can forgive their negative state, but also keep your distance until such time as they feel remorseful, which rarely comes.
So for almost every relationship you have in life, the important thing is to accentuate the positive except in the case of abuse. This does not mean that you shouldn’t give technical teaching feedback if you are in that role. I want my tennis coach to tell me how I should hold my racquet for various shots, but mostly I return to the coach when he points out when I am doing the shots well.